Some days become a struggle right from the git go. And then day after day starts the same way. There must be a point where this changes or nothing gets accomplished. This is termed “brain chaos” in my here and now. And I sought the advice of my psychiatrist to help find some answers.
I explained that my awakening moments were filled with random thoughts bombarding my present. Many ideas like torpedoes ramming my mind one right after the other non-stop uncontrollably. I recognize the need to slow down and try to determine the most important ones for focus for the day, but the continued penetration of worrisome thinking would not cease.
Together we figured out that I was not taking time for myself which is an old behavior. I allow my sister to manage my time. She pinpoints what needs to be done daily. Bill reminds me that I must take time for myself to be able to take care of my sister. If I’m not healthy, nothing can be done. This is contradictory to the messages from sis.
So how do I put myself at the top of my list?
It is essential to carve out time for self! Me first!!! Emotionally and physically.
It is necessary to find a block of time to get away. During this time, I don’t talk about my situation at home. I need some breaks, so I am required to construct the time to do so. Eventually I’ll find a whole hour at home that is spent without disturbances. Read a book. Play with my puppy. Watch an hour and a half movie.
Relax…
These are the times to think about my mission. Talk to friends about my mission to help victims and survivors of child abuse and sex trafficking. I have a pretty firm grasp on what I want my life to include. Finding space to overcome the obstacles is key.
If I compartmentalize into one of two that will do the job:
* Caretaking without over doing
* Mission – arrange for my time (most important)
Right now, take the bull by the horns. Nobody is going to take care of me. I have to take care of me.
HE IS FOREVER WITH ME 